If I Had It to Do Over Again | SingleRoots

We were driving through Wisconsin when I made the call. Cornfields rushed by, and my heart raced a little. A familiar voice answered on the other end of the line.

?Hello?? he said.

?Hey,? I said casually. And before I could find a reason to stop myself I finished:

?I have something I have to tell you.??

We had been close friends for a long time and had always shared everything with each other, but the thing I had to share with him now was more difficult than anything I?d had to share before. Difficult because, for me, it was really exciting, and for him I knew it wasn?t going to be easy to swallow.

?I?m getting married,? I told him.?

We had talked about this ? about what would happen if one or the other of us met the person of our dreams and decided to get married. We talked about how our relationship would change, about how you couldn?t carry close opposite-sex friendships into a healthy, thriving marriage. But I don?t think either of us imagined that life would change as fast as it just had. Neither of us had accounted for the fact that, in the course of four months, I could go from single to married.

And he was so caught off guard by my announcement, he couldn?t even pretend to be excited for me.

I sat in the passenger seat, one hand pressed to the phone, and the other one to the palm of my soon-to-be husband, and listened to my friend tell me how I was making a big mistake, how I was going to regret it. On one side of me I looked toward Darrell, who was driving the car, and on the other side, I listened to my friend?s assertive words echoing from the phone. This horrible, sick feeling settled in.

I should have done this a long time ago.

I?should have set a better boundary in this friendship.

We never dated, never even kissed, but we did everything together. We went for hikes and bike rides around the city. We went to breakfast, and to coffee, and to happy hour.?We even traveled together. Camping trips, vacations, Peru to climb Macchu Picchu. We had seen each other through difficult seasons.?He had comforted me when a close friend of mine committed suicide, and I was there for him after his marriage fell apart.

Shared experiences, shared secrets ? these are the things intimate relationships are made of.?

I asked myself often, ?I wonder if I could ever date him??

I asked myself often, ?I wonder if he?s ever thought about me that way??

But I never had the courage to ask him. I figured, ?It?s better this way. Less complicated.? I was wrong.

The phone conversation ended badly and was followed by a series of e-mails in which hurtful things were said. I learned my lesson the hard way.?Relationships with bad boundaries ? no matter what kind of relationships they are ? are unsafe relationships because when boundaries aren?t drawn, sometimes people take things that aren?t theirs to take, and give things they never meant to give.

As a single girl, I had so many boundary-less relationships ? especially with men.?

I didn?t see it while I was doing it, I thought I was just being nice, being friendly, but I see it now. I see the way that my bad boundaries left me exposed and vulnerable, like a playground without a fence, ready for a predator to come in and take what wasn?t his. Fertile ground for a kid to run after a stray ball, and run right in front of a speeding truck. Disaster waiting to happen.

I see now how this affected me and how now it is affecting my marriage and my husband.

And if I could do it all over again, I would do it differently.

If I could do it all over again?I would have more female friends.

I blamed my lack of female friends on my hobbies and my temperament (I liked hiking and camping and wasn?t a huge fan of doing my make-up or going to the mall), but the truth is I was scared to be friends with women because I was insecure. I was scared they were prettier than me and that I could never live up.

It was easy to be the prettiest girl around if I was the?only?girl around.

Having women friends would have exposed my insecurity and given me an opportunity to address it, rather than cover it up.?I?m convinced it also would?ve met needs for companionship and care that I didn?t even know I had.

If I had it to do over again, I would have spent more time with my married friends.?

It?s hard to stay friends with your friends after they get married. Their loyalty changes and their schedules change and most of the time even?they?change. But I wish I would have done a better job at staying friends with my married friends after their wedding day. I could have watched the women closest to me grow in wisdom and benefited from the brotherly care of their husbands.

If I could do it over again, I would have had defining conversations with all of my male friends, especially if we spent time together, one-on-one.

This is never an easy conversation to have because it requires being honest about your intentions, even if you don?t know where the other person stands. I would have had to say, ?I don?t know how you feel about me, but I like you?? or ?I?m not sure how you feel, but I?m not interested in dating you.?

It might be difficult to hear the truth, but truth is freedom. The only thing worse than being rejected is a constant, repetitive state of not knowing.

Good boundaries create good friendships?friendships that give life rather than steal it, friendships that stand the test of time.

_______________________________________________________________________________

About Allison Vesterfelt: Allison Vesterfelt?is a writer and thinker who is becoming brave enough to live and tell the truth. She loves her job as the Editor-in-Chief of?Prodigal Magazine? where she gets to help people live and tell good stories. She has one foot in Portland, OR, and one in Minneapolis, Minnesota. You can keep up with her by following her on?Twitter,?Facebook?and her blog.

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*Photo credit: Aih.

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Tech Support Internship: Student Led Support for Leyden's 1:1 ...

Part 4 of a 5-part series on 1:1 with Chromebooks at Leyden High Schools. ?This post was written collaboratively by the four teachers who work with the Tech Support Internship program: ?Jason Cartwright, Adam Labriola, Lauren Martire, and Tony Pecucci.?More information is available at the East Leyden and West Leyden TSI Websites.

Overview

The Tech Support Internship (TSI) is a year-long course that supports Leyden?s 1:1 technology initiative. ?Students in the Tech Support Internship get experience working in a real life tech support environment.
?
The Tech Support Interns have three main objectives:

1. To support students? Chromebooks
2. To support the faculty and staff with?technology needs
3. To pursue independent learning?pathways

When students are not supporting students? and/or faculty/staff technology needs, students work on a variety of independent pathways. ?These pathways allow students to explore and develop skills in a variety of technology subjects including computer programming, networking, app development, web design, etc. ?The students also are given the opportunity to become certified in multiple industry recognized certifications.

Pathways and Why Students Chose Them

Certification

Students in this pathway pursue industry certifications. ?Students may choose one or more of the following certifications: ?Internet and Computing Core Certification (IC3), Microsoft Office Specialist, Google Apps, and/or CompTia A+ Certification.

?I chose certification as my pathway because I wanted to learn more about computers. ?There will be many benefits gained from completing this pathway. If I get my A+ certification next semester, I can have more job and internship opportunities in college. I want to get as many certifications as I can this year.? -?Karolina Moniuszko

Computer Programming or Networking

Students in this pathway gain hands on experience in computer programming or networking. ?For computer programming, students may choose between two programming languages: C++ or JavaScript.

?The reason why I chose programming was because the whole entire concept of it was so cool. Studying programming is like studying a whole new language, it?s hard but when you finally understand you feel a sense of accomplishment. In programming you will learn the fundamentals of where all the current apps and programs you use come from and how they were made, while at the same time interacting with developing codes yourself. Other than that it?s a high demand job in the real world that pays a lot of money.? -?Clint De Leon

Communications

Students in this pathway implement new communication technologies for Leyden students and staff. ?Students create websites, podcasts, blogs, tutorials, and workshops related to Leyden?s technology initiative.

?I chose the Communications pathway because I liked the idea of being able to inform teachers and students about different technologies in a creative way. ?I also get to learn about and use a variety of multimedia tools that will benefit me in my school work and my future jobs.? -?Dulce Lopez

App Development

Students in this pathway build and develop apps for the Chrome Browser, iOS, and Android devices. Students will gain experience developing applications using a web browser and either a connected phone or emulator.

?Through curiosity of viewing the app store and the unlimited apps provided for download, I thought more and more on how to do certain apps and the difficulty involved. I chose this Pathway so I can make apps that people my age can use and find to be important or entertaining in their everyday lives. To have a well known app would give me the confidence to build more and to do that, my first step was to join this class and follow this Pathway.? -?Zaid Alaraj

Interaction Between Students and Tech Department

Level 1: Students

In TSI, students are the initial point of contact on any and all technical issues. ?Students work with students, faculty and staff to determine exactly what their issue is and determine how to address it. ?These requests all come through a work ticketing system (Spiceworks) and are handled by the students on a rotating basis. ?Most commonly, students work on Chromebook issues/repairs, projection screens, Google Application support, and many other common issues. ?If an issue can be handled completely by a student, these tickets are considered Level 1.

Level 2: Students Working with Tech Department

When students are addressing issues, they may derive that the issue is in need of administrative access. ?For these types of cases, they would need to bring in a member of the Tech Department to assist. ?These issues would then be considered Level 2. ?Typically, these issues would involve the wireless network password, accessing network printers or handling software downloads for computers labs. ?The students have a close relationship with the Tech Department and often come along to see how Level 2 tickets are handled for learning purposes. ?Again, all tickets are filtered through our work ticketing program to ensure they are being addressed in a timely manner.

Benefits

We believe the benefits of TSI are many. ?Throughout our conversations with computer professionals, they would continually stress the need for students to not only have certifications in various areas ? but also to have the soft skills and hands on experience to work in a job environment. ?This is where TSI is an extremely good fit as it provides all of those skills ? and more.

TSI students at Leyden interact with students, faculty and staff on a daily basis. ?They sharpen their communication skills by answering phones, handling incoming issues and going out in the ?field? on various tickets. ?TSI students never know what they will be working on next and no day is like the day before! ?We feel this is a replication of what they will be facing once they leave Leyden and prepares them in a way no other class does.

In addition, students can choose the various pathways to work on when not assisting our school. ?Particularly, the certifications they can attain will increase their ability to secure a position directly out of high school. ?Leyden TSI students will be more qualified than many others in the workforce for entry level positions in computing.

Overall, Leyden TSI students are getting much of the ?real world? experience they need to succeed post high school. ?TSI provides enormous benefits for students and can give them the edge they need to start their careers, wherever they may start!

?

You might also like

1. The Logistics of 1:1 Chromebooks at Leyden [guest post]
2. Athletics or laptops?
3. Are your local schoolchildren ?students? or ?learners??
4. Why 1:1? Why Chromebooks? [guest post]
5. The passivity of students AND educators

Source: http://dangerouslyirrelevant.org/2012/11/tech-support-internship-student-led-support-for-leydens-chromebook-initiative.html

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Somalia picks cabinet, balances old guard with newcomers

MOGADISHU (Reuters) - Somalia unveiled a new cabinet on Sunday, keeping a delicate balance among rival clans as it tries to shake off years of conflict that still plagues the country despite a recent push against al-Qaeda-linked militants.

The formation of the government is the culmination of a regionally brokered, U.N.-backed effort to restore central control and end close to two decades of fighting that has killed tens of thousands of people.

In September, Somalia inaugurated President Hassan Sheikh Mohamud - elected in the first vote of its kind since warlords toppled military dictator Mohamed Siad Barre in 1991, leaving the African nation without an effective central government.

Prime Minister Abdi Farah Shirdon Saaid, chosen by Mohamud because he is untainted by clan rivalry, will have to tackle corruption, the Islamist insurgency and piracy off the coast along strategic Indian Ocean shipping lanes.

"Taking into account the current situation, I have appointed a lean, effective cabinet that can lead the government in this difficult situation and that can bring full, reliable peace," Saaid told reporters and officials at the presidential palace as he unveiled his 10-minister cabinet line-up.

He appointed Fozia Yusuf Haji Aden as foreign minister, the first woman to hold such a senior position. "It is a victory for Somali women," she said.

Somali, Ethiopian and African Union peacekeeping troops have pushed the al Qaeda-linked al Shabaab insurgents out of the main areas they took over in their five-year-old revolt, encouraging many Somalis to return to rebuild their country. But the militants are still capable of launching attacks in Mogadishu.

Saaid retained three ministers who had served in former President Sheikh Sharif Ahmed's transitional government, among them Abdihakim Haji Mohamud Fiqi as the minister for defence.

"What we are trying to do is address the demands, the concerns and the expectations of all the different components and players in Somalia," Saaid told Reuters on Saturday after meeting the EU's special envoy for Somalia.

Mohamud said not all sub-clans could be included in cabinet. "We made the cabinet 10 to save Somalia - those (sub)clans who missed themselves in the list should know that they are not hated," he said.

Parliament speaker Mohamed Sheikh Osman Jawari said the cabinet line-up would go before parliament as soon as possible for approval.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/somalia-picks-cabinet-balances-old-guard-newcomers-050534363.html

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Puerto Ricans are key in Florida presidential vote

KISSIMMEE, Fla. (AP) ? President Barack Obama has a problem with Florida's important Puerto Rican voters, and it has little to do with the immigration and deportation issues that dominate so much of the national debate involving Hispanic voters.

Florida's two biggest Hispanic groups -- Puerto Ricans and Cuban Americans -- have legal statuses not enjoyed by immigrants from other Latin American countries. This makes illegal immigration a tangential issue for them.

Their chief concerns center on Florida's struggling economy, leaders of both parties say. And Florida's high unemployment and foreclosure rates have hit Puerto Ricans hard.

That's a dilemma for Obama. He's counting on big Puerto Rican support to help offset Cuban-American precincts, mainly in Miami, where Republican Mitt Romney expects to do well. Some analysts say he may fall short.

"The Puerto Rican vote is going for Obama," said Florida-based pollster Brad Coker. "But I don't think it's going by the same margin" as in 2008.

More than 1.5 million Hispanics are registered to vote in Florida, nearly 14 percent of the state total. About 592,000 are registered Democrats, and 463,000 Republicans.

Obama's team is working hard to get Puerto Ricans to the polls. Along with the Spanish-language ads on TV and radio, the campaign is organizing raucous caravans with decorated car windows and loud speakers on trucks, a tradition in Puerto Rico elections.

"The issue is, can we motivate the base for a huge turnout," said Bill Richardson, a Latino and former New Mexico governor, as he helped organize a caravan Friday in a heavily Hispanic Orlando neighborhood. Early reports are good, he said, "but we have to drag them out, like we're doing here in this caravan, to motivate early voters."

Richardson, who briefly ran for president in 2008, said Hispanics' enthusiasm for Obama was lagging earlier this year. He thinks that changed in June, when Obama announced that about 800,000 young illegal immigrants with no criminal records could legally stay in the country.

"What has brought the Hispanic community enthusiastically back to the president has been his decision to halt the deportations," Richardson said.

Others are less sure. Dario Moreno, a political scientist at Florida International University, noted that Puerto Ricans and Cubans "don't have an immigration problem."

Puerto Ricans are U.S. citizens, and can vote for president if they live in a state or the District of Columbia. Cuban immigrants have special legal standing that stems from the United States' long-running tension with the Castro government.

Moreno said Puerto Ricans and Cuban Americans take umbrage if political rhetoric reaches into emotional areas. He cited instances in 2008, when some GOP candidates said America was "losing its culture" because so many residents speak Spanish. Puerto Ricans and others see that "as not only anti-immigrant, but anti-Latino," he said.

There have few such over-the-line remarks in this election, Moreno said. Even when Romney suggested illegal immigrants "self deport," it didn't resonate much with Florida's Puerto Ricans and Cuban descendants, Moreno said.

Kelvin Soto, a Kissimmee lawyer who largely grew up in Puerto Rico, agrees that Romney "has done a very good job" of toning down contentious comments from the GOP primary, such as when he criticized Texas' policy of granting in-state college tuition to illegal immigrants. What most of his Hispanic friends recall, Soto said, is that Romney has promised to create 12 million jobs.

"People don't want to investigate it, because they fear it might not be true," said Soto, an Osceola County school board candidate who was campaigning Saturday at an early voting site.

Calvin Gutierrez, 18, said most of his friends support Obama, "but the economic situation has gotten worse," and many are unenthusiastic. "There are a few who have stopped supporting him," although they're unlikely to vote for Romney, said Gutierrez, a college freshman hoping to go into medicine.

Two former Florida Republican governors, Bob Martinez and Jeb Bush, said in interviews Saturday that Romney is making good inroads among Hispanics, including Puerto Ricans. They said these voters question why Obama didn't push for immigration reform when Democrats controlled Congress in his first two years as president, Bush said.

Martinez, a Tampa native whose ancestors came from Spain, said "Hispanic" covers a wide array of Floridians with ties to Cuba, Puerto Rico, Venezuela, Mexico and other places. They have different traditions, needs and motivations, he said, and no one-size-fits-all campaign approach will work.

Many Latinos work in the hard-hit construction and landscaping industries, he said. "The common denominator for everybody is the economy," Martinez said. "There's a passion in this election I've not seen in a long time," he said, and Romney is benefiting.

Christina Martinez, 42, is a Puerto Rican Floridian sticking with Obama. He deserves more time to heal the economy she said as she waited to vote in Kissimmee on Saturday, the last day of early voting in Florida.

Martinez has four daughters and one grandson, and she doesn't like Romney's record on women's rights, Medicaid, education or the economy. As for Obama, she said, "I think he did great."

Martinez and others who live in struggling, largely Spanish-speaking communities may tip the balance for or against Obama in this, the biggest tossup state of all.

___

Follow Charles Babington on Twitter: https://twitter.com/cbabington.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/puerto-ricans-key-florida-presidential-vote-095301711--election.html

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On Baseball: Stars Missing from Veteran Free-Agent Class

When spring training opened in February, the free-agent class for this off-season seemed tantalizing. Three National League superstars, difference-making players in their primes, were unsigned past this season. Then the Los Angeles Dodgers sold for $2.15 billion.

Other teams reacted swiftly. The bankrupt Dodgers were back and flush with cash, ready to poach from their rivals. Before the middle of April, the San Francisco Giants had re-signed starter Matt Cain and the Cincinnati Reds had done the same with first baseman Joey Votto. In July, the Philadelphia Phillies re-signed starter Cole Hamels.

Those deals, worth $496.5 million combined, removed from the market a former N.L. most valuable player (Votto), a former World Series M.V.P. (Hamels) and a pitcher who has now tossed a perfect game and won two championships (Cain). However the contracts work out, those players will not be wearing Dodger blue anytime soon.

The Dodgers? threat was real. Itching to spend, they took on the bloated contracts of Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford and Josh Beckett in an industry-rattling trade with Boston in August. On Tuesday, the Dodgers signed their closer, Brandon League, to a three-year, $22.5 million contract.

But the Dodgers ? in theory, anyway ? cannot sign everybody. The remaining headliners on the market include some intriguing names, but they may be less likely to command such lavish deals.

Josh Hamilton, the former American League M.V.P. for the Texas Rangers, was probably the biggest star in his prime to file for free agency last week. A former Cy Young Award winner, Zack Greinke of the Los Angeles Angels, is also on the market. Their talented teammates ? Rangers catcher Mike Napoli and Angels outfielder Torii Hunter ? are also up for bidding.

Hamilton, an All-Star in each of the last five seasons, set a career high in home runs this season, with 43. He faded down the stretch and looked lost in the Rangers? wild-card game defeat, but he said he wanted to return.

?I always would love to stay here,? Hamilton said that night. ?They understand that, and they know that. We talked earlier in the year, didn?t get things worked out, so we said we?d wait till the year was over and I told them I?d give them first shot at the end of the year. We?ll see what happens. I?ve enjoyed the last five years here, playing with these guys. Most fun I?ve ever had in my life playing baseball.?

Yet Hamilton also sounded resigned to the idea that the home fans might have sent him off with boos, and he has shown no interest in a discounted deal from Texas. He has a tangled past, with a well-chronicled history of substance abuse, relapse and injury. But he is such a good hitter that, chances are, some team will put aside those factors and focus on his positives.

It is never wise to doubt the ability of a superstar and his agent to convince just one owner that he is worth a major investment. Prince Fielder and his agent, Scott Boras, showed that last off-season, when a $214 million contract from the Detroit Tigers sprouted from a seemingly barren market. Hamilton will not make that much, but it is easy to imagine a team?s believing it is one big slugger away from the pennant. The Baltimore Orioles, who knocked Texas from the playoffs, seem to fit that description.

Greinke is probably the only ace starter among free agents, although Kyle Lohse pitched like one for much of last season with St. Louis, and Anibal Sanchez pitched well for Detroit in October. Texas? Ryan Dempster, Baltimore?s Joe Saunders and Oakland?s Brandon McCarthy are among the other reliable rotation options.

The Nationals? fourth starter, the well-traveled Edwin Jackson, is also available as a free agent. But a more pressing issue for Washington is re-signing first baseman Adam LaRoche and the left-handed setup man Sean Burnett.

The Yankees have tried to cultivate consistent, dependable young starters in recent years, with disappointing results. As a result, they will try to wrest more production from Andy Pettitte, who turns 41 in June, and Hiroki Kuroda, who turns 38 in February. Both pitched admirably last season and would be safe bets on one-year deals.

The Yankees have several other free agents, including outfielders Nick Swisher, Andruw Jones, Raul Ibanez and Ichiro Suzuki; catcher Russell Martin; infielder Eric Chavez; and closers Mariano Rivera and Rafael Soriano. Rivera, like Pettitte, will surely return if he wants to, which on Friday he indicated he would.

The Giants, who swept Detroit in the World Series, also face the loss of several important contributors, including outfielder Angel Pagan, second baseman Marco Scutaro and Jeremy Affeldt, who has been one of baseball?s best left-handed setup men for the last several years. The Giants are especially interested in keeping Scutaro, who hit .500 in the N.L. Championship Series and drove in the winning run in the World Series clincher.

Giants outfielder Melky Cabrera, who never returned after his drug suspension in August, will be a compelling case. He is coming off two strong seasons, but evaluators do not know how much was real and how much was artificial. At 28, though, Cabrera will get another chance.

The market for outfielders extends well beyond Cabrera. Teams can choose from a group that includes Hamilton, Hunter, Pagan, Michael Bourn, Ryan Ludwick, Cody Ross, B. J. Upton, Shane Victorino and Delmon Young.

The outfielders embody the free-agent class as a whole: deep on solid, veteran talent, but short on superstars.

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/05/sports/baseball/stars-missing-from-veteran-free-agent-class.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

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